


am i lost, did you find me

by niallszayn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7657405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallszayn/pseuds/niallszayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>uni au where zayn goes abroad to ireland for a year and needs help settling in. if only the first real irishman he meets wasn't such a dick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	am i lost, did you find me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [groundopenwide](https://archiveofourown.org/users/groundopenwide/gifts).



> i signed up as a pinch hitter despite my exams and my holiday coinciding with the time frame, so here i am writing this note with two weeks until the deadline and a half finished fic on the day before my holiday. i'll write the rest on my phone and add it when i find wifi - sorry for the mistakes, i'll fix them when i get back from my holiday!  
> i would've loved to do more research for this fic since i've been to dublin exactly once for a very rainy day, but the sights i mentioned are all real places, the classes are all really offered at trinity college according to their website, the bands exist and are worth a listen. everything else is obviously fiction :) the enemies bit is very brief and harmless and the lilo is tiny too. peyton, i made some changes but hopefully fulfilled your prompt to your liking!! :) title comes from _always yours_ by keywest.

Zayn's first day at at Trinity College Dublin is overwhelming, to say the least. He's only arrived in the city the day before and he gets lost on the way from his dorm even though he's looked up everything on Google Maps. The historic buildings of the university are much more intimidating than the mid-20th century architecture of his own uni at home and the campus is big enough to make him feel lost as soon as he does find it.

Friday before the semester starts officially is Welcome Day for the international students and he meets a couple other Erasmus students, students from all across Europe, and even some foreign students from America and Australia. There's one from Argentina, and Zayn feels a bit pathetic for feeling this out of his depth when he still gets to speak his own language. Most of these internationals are much braver than him, facing an entirely new language and culture.

There's one girl there who's doing his program too, History of Art and Architecture, a slim blonde from America called Gigi, and they stick together for the rest of the day.

“Do you want to go together again on Monday?” Gigi asks when their day is over. She's nice and she seems just as relieved as him at the thought of not doing it alone so he agrees happily. They seem to have a lot in common from the topics they've covered today and she even hugs him before they part ways.

Still, when Zayn finally makes it back to his dorm, he feels homesick enough at the prospect of spending the weekend alone to give his mum a ring.

“Don't worry, sunshine,” she tells him, “you'll find friends and know your way around before you know it.”

It doesn't help his confidence much but Zayn feels better after hearing his mother's voice and prints out the map with his way to campus so he won't get lost again. He spends the weekend unpacking and buying everything he needs so far, stocking the fridge and with Gigi. It’s too rainy to go out and discover Dublin so they spend Saturday night at Zayn’s with a movie and Sunday making lunch at Gigi’s.

Day 2 of welcome week is more meetings and informational events, another one with the internationals, one with his advisor and a very long one about all the clubs they can join here that not only internationals can attend. Zayn’s only gonna be here for a year so he really doesn’t plan on joining any clubs which is why he doodles more than he listens. He doesn't really notice the guy sitting a row behind him until he taps Zayn's shoulder.

“You know it'd be cool if you listened,” he whispers when Zayn turns to look at him. “There's people who care about these clubs and societies.”

Zayn can’t resist rolling his eyes. Who does this guy think he is? “So? I’m not, like, disturbing anyone.”

“Well it's still disrespectful,” the guy keeps nagging and Zayn rolls his eyes again in a way to make sure he notices.

“Whatever,” he mumbles and goes back to his doodles. How some guy in a backwards snapback - of all things fashion, it's not 2001 anymore - thinks he can tell Zayn to focus on some club introductory thing he really doesn't know.

Backwards Snapback seems to be everywhere after that. Zayn sees him at lunch, in the hallway and while he's walking to check out the famous Trinity College Library with Gigi in the afternoon. He’s loud too, with a thick Irish accent and a loud laugh, always surrounded by people.

 But the worst thing is the buddy program meeting the next morning.

Zayn's been assigned a buddy to help him settle in, a guy called Louis who he's been emailing for a few weeks. Unfortunately, Louis seems to know Backwards Snapback and has been talking to him since Zayn entered the room so he's had to hide between all the internationals and their buddies to avoid confrontation. He manages to escape their notice until Backwards Snapback leaves to actually take interest in his own international and even convinces Louis he got lost on the way to the meeting.

“A tour is necessary, then,” Louis says. He's English too, and from Doncaster even, so they're pretty much neighbours at home. He's been studying at Trinity College from the beginning on though. “Maybe we can get together with some other buddies. Have you settled in a little?”

“A little,” Zayn nods. “I didn't get lost on my way from the dorm today.”

“One step at a time, like,” Louis nods seriously then grins. “You'll get used to it, trust me.”

They exchange numbers and set a time for them to meet the next day, Louis invites Zayn to a party on Friday and then for a coffee at the cafeteria so they can talk for a little longer. He's nice, Zayn thinks, and they have a lot in common, so it's easy to talk and get along.

Tuesday is also the first day of the official syllabus week, so Zayn has two classes to check out, the first one with Gigi and the second alone.

Gigi isn't around anymore when Zayn wants to leave so he texts her he'll see her tomorrow and goes back to his dorm. Trinity Hall is big – technically several buildings, three blocks of newer ones made up of twelve houses and Cunningham House, the oldest one – and Zayn's room is in the modern complex, part of an apartment he shares with five other people. He's been the first of them to arrive but from what he gathered from the information sheet on their wall, the rest should have arrived today. He spends the ride back making up a list of small talk topics so he doesn't seem weird to his new flatmates just because he's shy and awkward around new people.

When he's stood in front of the apartment door, Zayn can already hear people inside, voices and clattering and music and he takes a see breath before pushing the door open. Three guys are in the kitchen/living room area of the apartment, blasting The Weeknd on a stereo that wasn’t there when Zayn left this morning. One, short brown hair and broad shoulders from what Zayn can see, is kneeling close by, stacking CDs and DVDs (people still buy those?), someone with long curly hair seems to be putting up curtains and arranging pillows on the sofa, and a ginger third one is sat on the kitchen counter with a big mug in his hands.

All three of them turn around to look at him when he shuts the door and he gives a little awkward wave. “Hey,” he says, “I’m Zayn.”

The red haired one on the counter grins and lifts his mug in greeting. “Ah, the Englishman! Welcome, man. I’m Cian.”

On the list Zayn got he read his new flatmates names so even though it sounds like “key-in” he matches the spelling with the sound, which leaves Seamus, Harry, Liam and Fionn.

The curly one crosses the room in three strides – he has long legs – and wraps Zayn up in a hug that surprises him too much to react properly. “I’m Harry,” he introduces himself. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”

His accent surprises Zayn almost more than the hug, it’s not Irish like Cian’s and not like Louis’ and Zayn’s Northern English accents either, it sounds kind of posh. “You an international as well?”

“Nah, my family moved over here a couple years ago but I’m from Cheshire originally.”

“Me mum’s Northern Irish, me dad’s English,” the third guy says, coming over from the stereo and extends his hand to shake Zayn’s. “I’m from Belfast. Name’s Liam.”

“Hi,” Zayn says and is saved from awkward small talk by the last two flatmates coming out of their rooms.

They introduce themselves as Seamus and Fionn – pronounced “Finn” – and talking isn’t so hard afterwards, with this many people chiming in. Apparently the five of them have lived together since their first semester and Zayn’s here to replace their sixth friend Kevin who’s abroad in Sweden for the year. Cian, Seamus and Fionn are all from the very south of Ireland and Zayn doesn’t voice his concerns about how he hasn’t met anyone yet who really knows his way around Dublin. They’re nice either way.

By the time Zayn goes to bed, he’s sure he’s gonna get through this year just fine. He’s had his doubts about living with five other boys but all of them have assured him they spend as much time separate in their rooms as they do together. “However much you need, mate,” Liam had said. “You don’t have to do anything with us, but you’re welcome to.”

He wants to take that back when he arrives at the spot he’s planned to meet Louis for the tour the next day after two more classes and Backwards Snapback is standing there with his arms crossed, not wearing a snapback today. Brown roots make it obvious that his hair isn’t naturally this blonde, his NASA shirt stretches across his shoulders and Zayn enjoys the sight for the second it takes for the guy to open his mouth.

“Not drawing anything today, mate?” he asks and has the nerve to grin at him.

Zayn scowls. “I don’t know why you think it’s any of your business what I do. I don’t tell you I think you way of dressing is terrible and what I think you should be wearing instead, do I? And I’m not your mate.”

“Whoa, okay,” Backwards Snapback says. “No reason to be so pissy.”

“Just fuck off, yeah?”

“Can’t, I promised Louis I’d do the tour with him for our buddies. Don’t worry, I don’t wanna be any sort of buddies with you. Louis’ one of my best friends though, so try to stay civil, yeah?”

“Seems like that’s something you should worry about,” Zayn hisses and then turns around to wait for Louis a few steps over.

When his buddy arrives, he greets Backwards Snapback with a fist bump before coming over to Zayn. “Hey, you could’ve waited with Niall, he doesn’t bite. Hasn’t he introduced himself?”

“No, he hasn’t,” Zayn says and doesn’t tell Louis about the history he and Backwards- _Niall_ have. Before Louis can introduce them officially and make things rather awkward, the five other people he’s invited along for the tour arrive.

Zayn’s seen the internationals at their meetings but he hasn’t talked to any of them. The buddies all seem to be friends with Louis, though. Niall’s international is a Spanish girl named Blanca who keeps very obviously flirting with him. Zayn finds her immediately annoying.

The tour lasts over an hour and covers the whole college grounds, the four main squares and all their buildings including the famous Campanile, Douglas Hyde Gallery and the Samuel Beckett Theatre. As it turns out, Niall is very into sports and enthusiastically shows them around College Park with its rugby pitch and croquet lawn, football and hockey grounds as well as the athletics track.

Overlooking College Park is James Ussher Library that Zayn finds much more interesting as it houses Glucksman Map Library, with half a million printed maps Irelands largest collection of cartographic material.

They leave out Trinity College Library entirely though because Louis insists they’ll see the interior of the different buildings plenty for studying or curiosity in their own time. The old library is left out “because you’ve either already run to see it or you will anyway, and I really don’t want to cuddle up to the thousands of tourists in there.”

“I know Zayn has already gone,” Niall says and Zayn narrows his eyes at him before he remembers passing him on the way there the other day. “With that pretty blonde American.”

“Gigi,” Zayn says and some of the guys snicker while Blanca pouts, probably because Niall called another girl pretty. Someone makes a quip about Zayn being fast and he just rolls his eyes, doesn’t deem them worth telling them about the girlfriend Gigi has back home who she constantly texts or facetimes. Besides, that’s Gigi’s business and he’s sure as hell not gonna out someone without their consent.

Instead of the library, Louis shows them Goldsmith Hall, the modern on-campus housing complex. “I love our flat, mate,” Louis says to Niall, “but I’d live here of I could, to be honest.”

“The rooms here are sick,” Niall agrees. “Pricey though.”

“You live together?” Blanca asks.

“Yup,” Louis says, “It’s more like two closets with a kitchen and bathroom, but we’re free.”

Zayn quietly resigns to seeing Niall much more than he cares for.

“For everything not on campus, you should ask Niall,” Louis says when they’re done with their tour. “He knows Dublin better than anyone else I know, except maybe for the people who actually grew up in the city.” So that’s not an option for Zayn.

Zayn meets up for lunch with Gigi later before their afternoon classes and she laughs when he tells her they might've been mistaken for a couple. “That might come in handy if either of us needs to fend off unwelcome advances,” she grins. “So any advances in my case. Have you got a girlfriend at home? Or a boyfriend?”

“Neither,” Zayn says. “And I'm not really looking for either right now, like, at least not while I'm abroad. I don't think I'd be able to maintain a long distance relationship.”

“Depends on the person you're with, I think,” Gigi muses. “If they're worth it to you, it's worth all the difficulties and obstacles.”

Zayn remembers her words when he gets home later that night. He's never felt strongly enough about someone to consider a long distance relationship, he doesn't think. In school, maybe, but his girlfriend back then took that decision off him by breaking up a couple of weeks before school ended.

He wonders what it’s like to have as much faith in a relationship as Gigi seems to as he makes a cup of tea and is interrupted by someone knocking on the apartment door. Everyone else is in their rooms so Zayn goes to open the door.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asks incredulously when the person standing there turns out to be none other than Niall. It’s kind of a shock and his voice is quite loud when he continues, “Are you stalking me?!”

“Whoa, what the fuck?” This time, Niall seems just as pissed. “I had no idea you lived here! Look, I don’t know what’s your problem with me, but I can bloody well visit my friends whenever I want to. You think you’re so special, don’t you? Stalking! As if I’d ever want to spend more time with you than I absolutely have to, because you’re so charming or what? Jesus Christ, screw your head on right, will you? You happen to live with my friends, that’s all.”

The problem Zayn has is that he can’t just admit he was wrong in a situation like this. He’s embarrassed and that makes him even more angry. “Who’s the asshole here, though? That’s you, you’ve been nothing but a complete dick to me since day one, just get off my back! I don’t want anything to do with you!”

Niall blanches a little but before he can reply, a door down the hall bangs open and Harry comes out. “What’s going on here? Ni? Zayn, are you ok?”

“Fine,” Zayn grunts and turns on his heel. He’s not proud of it but he definitely bangs his door shut behind himself. Great, now Niall is gonna tell Harry his version of things and Harry is gonna tell the rest of the flat, and maybe Louis will get involved too and they’re all gonna side with Niall who they’ve known for longer and Zayn will end up all alone in a foreign country.

He pities himself for the rest of the evening, more when he finds his mug of tea that’s gone cold by now, and feels terribly homesick. Maybe it would’ve been better if he’d just stayed at home. What use is a year abroad in a neighbouring country anyway? A whole year he’ll have to spend with no friends in a flat where everyone hates him.

When Zayn hears Harry come back, Liam’s with him and Zayn thinks that it’s already started. Harry will have told Liam no doubt, or maybe they both hung out with Niall. He’s apprehensive when they stop in front of his door and knock but tells them to come in anyway.

“Hey, Zayn,” Harry says and Liam gives him a smile that Zayn can’t really answer.

“Hey,” he mumbles and gestures for them to sit. He figures there’s no point in beating around the bush. “Are you here about Niall?”

“This isn’t supposed to be a lecture,” Harry tells him and Zayn nearly snorts because the way he’s sitting on Zayn’s chair with Liam by his side leaning against the desk, arms crossed, they do look like parents about to lecture their child.

“Look, we’ve been mates with Niall pretty much since we started here. We don’t want to take sides or whatever because we like you too, and we’ve talked to Niall; he’s pretty sure you two only got off on the wrong foot. Niall’s great, everyone loves him, and you’re cool so…”

“What Liam is trying to say,” Harry interrupts, “is that we’ll let you form your own opinion of Niall but that we think you should give him another chance, just as he’s willing to start over with you. I’m sure you’ll get along just fine if you’d stop fighting every time you met.”

“That’s not my fault,” Zayn mutters but he knows there’s no point so he sighs. “Alright, I’ll try and stay civil next time I see him.”

“Talk to him,” Harry insists. “Promise me you’ll try to talk to him.”

Zayn sighs again. There’s few things he wants to do less than face Niall ever again but if his flatmates won’t hate him if he does, he doesn’t see another way. He’s mortified, but if he doesn’t want this year to be hell he’ll have to get over it. “Okay, promise.”

“Sorry if this seemed like a lecture,” Liam speaks up. “We just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable while you’re here, and that includes getting along with our friends. You’ve got green light from Louis but we want to fix this thing with Niall.”

“You’re friends with Louis, too?” Zayn asks, surprised.

“Yeah, we just found out from Niall today that he’s your buddy. He never said your name, just that he wants us to meet because he thinks we’d get along.”

“He wasn’t wrong,” Harry grins.

As soon as the two of them leave, Zayn slumps down on his bed and hides his face in his pillow. He has no idea how to face Niall after this fight today, he’s still angry but mostly he’s embarrassed – and that’s not something he can easily overlook. The dread turns his mood sour despite the fact his flatmates don’t hate him yet, and he spends the entire next day holed up in his room watching Netflix.

He doesn’t have anything important for uni scheduled, doesn’t want to see Harry and Liam, and doesn’t want to drag Gigi into this whole mess. He’s in too bad of a mood to hang out with her so the only time he leaves the bed is for a run down to the corner shop to get a frozen pizza for dinner.

He needs his flatmates, Gigi will surely find more friends but Zayn doesn’t know how to. Classes seem alright as far as he can tell from the syllabus, but all of these people have been studying together for two years and there's groups of friends everywhere while Zayn's alone whenever Gigi isn’t taking the same class. She’s more into architecture and he’s more into art, so a separation is bound to happen. Which is why Zayn needs to stay in his flatmates’ good graces. It’s all enough to make him feel bad for the entire day.

The next day, Zayn has a meeting to finalise his class schedule after he's had to pick to pick a couple from the course catalogue and has had a few days to go to the respective syllabus classes, and another internationals meeting to form groups for different activities offered for them throughout the year.

“Your buddies have organised a welcome party for you tonight,” the internationals coordinator tells them. “And you will help plan the rest of the trips for the year or semester you'll be staying, including the welcome and goodbye barbecues. Everyone will need to pick at least one activity to help with. Watch the preliminary dates in case you're not staying the entire year.”

Zayn look around and sees parties (Christmas, Easter, goodbye,...), city tours, trips to cliffs and castles and whatnot, and randomly picks an excursion to Howth Castle scheduled for May/June of the next year.

Just as he arrives at his dorm, he receives an email from the internationals coordinator with the subject line “Howth Castle Excursion Team” that he wouldn’t open right away – he was the first one to sign up for that particular excursion, obviously there’d be someone else in his team – if it wasn’t for the person in copy, a [nhoran216@tcd.edu](mailto:nhoran216@tcd.edu).

But Zayn’s heard another snapback wearing guy call Niall “Horan”, so the email fills him with dread.

_Hello Mr Malik_

_As you are the only international student to have signed up to plan the trip to Howth Castle, I have assigned one of our buddies to help you out. Mr Niall Horan is in copy so you can get in touch._

_Regards_

_Maire O’Malley_

_Internationals Coordinator_

Zayn very nearly throws his phone against the wall and only refrains so he can type out a quick and angry email to Niall. The reply doesn’t even take five minutes.

_I swear I didn’t kno ! Signed up as a volunteer before I knew youd sign up two_

He doesn’t bother replying to that since he’s embarrassed himself enough with his stalking accusations, but he's even less excited about the internationals party he has to go to in the evening. Zayn promised Louis and Gigi separately that he'd show up though so he doesn't really have a choice. He’ll just have to avoid Niall, that was his plan anyway.

The party is held on campus, in the lobby of the science building and it's already loud and crowded by the time Zayn arrives. Blanca spots him the second he walks through the door and greets him with a kiss on each cheek.

“Do you think Niall hates me?” she asks without introduction and Zayn laughs, not just a little surprised.

“No,” he shakes his head. “I think he hates me.”

“Oh, good.” She disappears into the crowd again and Zayn detours by the bar to grab a beer before he does the same. Blanca is into Niall and Liam and Harry said everyone loves Niall, so maybe Zayn really is missing something here. They keep being pushed together, so if he wants to get through this year, he’ll have to end this fight. Zayn doesn’t need a nemesis.

As if on cue, he spots Niall a few feet away and their eyes meet for a second before they both quickly look away. Zayn’s seen enough to know that he should try and keep Blanca away from this area of the party, she wouldn’t want to see Niall flirting with another girl like this.

He might not understand her crush on Niall and find her annoying for that reason, but she’s been nothing but nice to him and Zayn feels some sort of loyalty towards her. He turns around to go looking for her and finds Gigi instead, beer in hand.

She greets him with a hug and a kiss on his cheek. “This is so great, I can legally drink here! I don’t turn 21 until next year so this is awesome!”

Zayn laughs. “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. But you’ve had alcohol before, right?”

“Obviously. Just because it’s not legal doesn’t mean we all keep the law. Even my parents sometimes let me drink.”

“Good, I don’t want to have to carry you home tonight.” She sticks her tongue out at him. “Wanna dance?”

“Sure.” They set their empty bottles aside and Zayn lets Gigi pull him onto the improvised dancefloor by the hand. They’ve only known each other for a couple of days but it feels longer, Zayn feels comfortable enough with her to hold hands and dance closely, something he’d usually only do with his closest friends.

They dance for a while until Gigi spots some girls she wants to talk to and Zayn goes to look for Louis. He passes Niall dancing with the girl he was flirting with earlier and tries his best to ignore him, but he can’t miss the girls hand on Niall’s back – under his shirt. Well.

Not two minutes later, Zayn runs not into Louis, but Blanca.

“Oh, hey,” he says. “Fancy running into you. Would you like another drink?”

She shakes her hand with a small smile. “You saw them too, sí? On the dancefloor?”

Zayn sighs. “…yeah.”

“You’re sweet, thank you. I’m fine. I guess it’s better like this, not very clever to hook up with your buddy, no?”

“Probably,” Zayn agrees. “So, how about that drink?”

“¡Vamos!” Zayn has very limited knowledge of Spanish but he knows enough to follow Blanca to the drinks, where Louis finds them thirty minutes later.

“Zayn's making friends!” he calls and then greets Blanca with a kiss on each cheek. “Hola, Blanca.”

“Hey, I've talked to two people at this party already,” Zayn protests with a grin.

“Let me guess, the other person was Gigi.”

Just the slightest bit tipsy, Zayn dares to punch his arm lightly and when Louis laughs and punches him back, he assumes it was the right choice. He talks to Louis for a while until he spots some other friends and Zayn walks around a little aimlessly, saying hi to some people he recognises.

He's getting another drink from the bar when suddenly Niall is there next to him. They notice each other at the same time and the mood turns icy. Niall gives him a nod so Zayn nods back and then they have to awkwardly manoeuvre around each other to go their separate ways only to realise they're walking in the same direction. Since Zayn doesn't have anywhere to go he quickly changes his path to get away from Niall. Neither of them say a word.

As soon as he's alone, Zayn finds a wall to lean against and tries to shake off the weird feeling running into Niall has left him with. His Cuba Libre is empty quicker than expected and he goes to get beer again instead. No need to get piss drunk because a guy he barely has anything to do with annoys him a little.

Some time after midnight, when Zayn knows way more students than he came here knowing, he sees Niall alone in a corner and heads over there for some reason. Niall looks just as surprised as Zayn is.

“Hi,” he says and he doesn't sound rude at all.

“Hi,” Zayn parrots. “I promised Liam and Harry I'd talk to you.”

“You did?” Niall's ears go a little pink and it makes Zayn want to smile a little bit. “I didn't ask them to make you do that.”

“I didn't think you did. They just kept telling me to give you another chance because we started off on the wrong foot or something.”

“Well, we did. I never wanted to insult you or whatever, I didn’t wanna start a fight. I wanted to talk to you and I guess I did it wrong and things just spiralled from there.”

“Guess we’re both to blame,” Zayn admits. “Sorry for saying you were, like, stalking me.”

“Sorry for insulting you. I’m sure you can be very charming.”

Zayn giggles and thinks, _huh, I’m drunk_.

“Start over?” he asks.

Niall nods. “Start over.” He extends his hand and Zayn grabs it, gives it a firm shake. “Hi, I’m Niall. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, I’m Zayn. So what are you studying here?”

“Physics and astrophysics, I’m specialising in astrophysics. What about you?”

“History of Art and Architecture. Or here, at least. Back home it’s just History of Art, but I can pick the art classes here. Are you from Dublin?”

“Nah, from Mullingar – bit over an hour from here. Me mum lives in London most of the time but my da’s still there.”

“Close enough, you must know your way around here pretty well.”

“Yeah, especially now that I’ve lived here for two years.” He cocks his head sideways as if in thought. “I could show you a thing or two if you want.”

“Yeah, sure, that’d be cool, like.”

“Great! Wait, lemme just…” He pulls a pen from his pocket and grabs Zayn’s arm, scribbles his number onto it. “Here, just text me whenever.”

An hour after Niall has left, Zayn still finds himself glancing down at the numbers on his arm regularly. He didn’t know people did this number-on-arm-thing anywhere outside romantic movies, not in the time of smartphones. He saves it locked in a bathroom stall after 2am.

Zayn sleeps in the next morning and joins Liam and Louis for a movie night in the evening. He watches as the two of them fight over which film to watch, using pillows, nipple twists and noogies and settles down on the beanbag chair so they can share the sofa. He falls asleep before the end of the second movie and when he wakes up, Louis’ asleep half on top of Liam too, so he quietly sneaks into his room and goes to bed.

Classes start on Monday and Zayn still hasn’t texted Niall so he’s happy they’re in different faculties. He needs to work up the courage to face him without alcohol in his blood, and figure out what to text Niall.

In the end, he just texts him “hey its zayn :)” on Tuesday afternoon. It seems to be enough because they don’t stop texting until Friday afternoon when Niall asks Zayn if he wants to go on a sightseeing tour on Saturday. Zayn says yes and for some reason that stops their steady flow of texts.

Niall picks Zayn up at 11am on Saturday and he hates himself for agreeing to the time from the moment he wakes up until he opens the door. Zayn hasn't seen Niall since the party and hasn't really seen him smile before, so the brightness of it is a little startling. Niall's wearing a snapback the right way around and a bomber jacket over his t-shirt and jeans, and maybe it’s not the first time Zayn notices he looks good, but the first time he can admit it to himself.

He pushes that thought away quickly again though, because the last thing he needs now is to fancy Niall. He doesn't even know the guy, all he has is his friend's words, a few decent minutes drunk at a party and admittedly quite many texts. It's enough to give Niall a chance but nothing more.

“Good morning,” Niall greets cheerily. “I hope you need coffee as much as I do because that's the first place we're going.”

“You need coffee?” Zayn asks incredulously.

“I'm not really this awake. ‘Fake it till you make it’, I'm just a tired student myself.”

It's a relief, and the coffeeshop Niall takes him to is nearby and very cosy. They're not staying unfortunately, Niall drags Zayn along immediately, but the coffee is great either way.

“We're doing the typical tourist stuff today,” Niall announces, “and if we don't want to punch each other by the end of the day, I'll show you my Dublin next time.”

“You set high goals for yourself,” Zayn teases and Niall laughs. It’s the kind of laugh that makes you want to laugh along, genuine and really nice.

“Well, I’ve been told I’m generally quite likeable, you’ll get around too.”

Zayn thinks he might already be there but he doesn’t tell Niall that. He’ll do this day and see where they stand at the end of it.

Niall starts the tour at Trinity College and from there it takes them all day to discover Grafton Street with its shops, cafes and pubs, Kildare Street and the Irish Parliament, Merrion Square and the two most famous churches, Christchurch Cathedral and St. Patrick’s Cathedral. They have lunch in between and take a stroll through St. Stephen’s Green (or “the Green” as Niall says everyone calls it), a beautiful green park with a big fountain in its middle that feels like an oasis in the centre of Dublin.

When Zayn gets back that night he’s exhausted but pretty content. Niall really isn’t half bad, they had plenty to talk about (themselves, Dublin, Irish history and politics, world politics, literature, movies and whether or not the world is in acute danger of an alien invasion, among other things) and Zayn’s pretty sure he hasn’t had this much fun since he got here.

On Sunday morning when Zayn gets up, Louis is sat at the table in their kitchen. “Hey,” he says surprised. “I didn't hear you come over.”

“That's because I was already here when you got home,” Louis grins. “Had fun with Niall yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Zayn says distractedly, “wait, you were here last night?”

Liam comes out of the bathroom then, dressed in just sweatpants and walks over to the kitchen. “Good morning,” he tells Zayn and skilfully avoids Louis’ nipple twist by swerving towards the counter. “Coffee left?”

“No,” Louis says and watches with a frown as Liam pours the rest of the coffee into a mug. Zayn flicks on the kettle and looks between the two of them with the distinct feeling he's missing something.

“Thanks babe,” Liam says and bends forward to press a kiss to Louis’ cheek. Louis leans into it. Zayn stares.

“Wait,” he starts and both of them turn.

“Oh,” Louis mumbles. “Right, that bit never came up.”

“You're dating?”

“Yeah.” Liam's face is careful, expectant. “Is that a problem for you?”

“No, no, ‘course not! Just a little unexpected is all.”

“Good, cause homophobia would've been a deal breaker.” Louis demonstratively puts his feet up in Liam's lap and Zayn thinks about their movie night the prior weekend and that he could've suspected something back then.

“Not from me,” he promises and makes a decision. “I'm...I'm bi myself so you don't have to worry about any weirdness from me.”

“Right,” Liam nods, “cool. Breakfast?”

Two weeks pass and Zayn hangs out with Gigi, his flatmates (mainly Liam and Harry, the other three are all studying Medicine and are always either at uni or the hospital) and Louis and Niall whenever they come over.

They’re in the pub down the road from Louis’ and Niall’s flat one Thursday night, Zayn’s had one pint too many and is lazily watching Liam and Louis do their strange way of flirting opposite him while Harry is off at the bar surrounded by a whole group of girls.

“I feel like I’m missing out,” he slurs, mostly to himself.

“Huh?” someone makes and Zayn slowly turns his head to find Niall right next to him, watching him. His eyes are very blue even in the dim light. “What are you missing out on?”

Zayn makes a vague gesture that encompasses everything around them, then shakes his head and tries to articulate what he’s feeling. “All I do is go to class and hang out at my dorm or your place. Aren’t you supposed to see all these places and experience so much when you’re abroad? I just…I don’t know how to do that. I don’t wanna go back home and regret I didn’t do that.”

“Wait, Zayn, slow down. First of all, you’ve only been here for less than a month, you have plenty of time left to experience whatever you want. And secondly, we’ve already done Dublin sightseeing, you’re gonna at least do the Howth Castle excursion because we’re organising that and could easily join some more and…you know what? We’ll do it together from now on. At least once a week we’ll go somewhere, I’ll show you the things you’d see on a regular holiday and those you wouldn’t. Alright?”

Niall sounds a lot less drunk than Zayn feels but he thinks he must be at least tipsy to suggest this. He says yes anyway because there’s a little balloon of hope in his chest, hope that he’ll stop feeling this lost in this country at some point.

Zayn never would've thought it would but it becomes a regular occurrence that Niall picks him up or texts him to meet him somewhere a couple times a week and then takes him places. He shows him parks, pubs, streets and buildings that hold meaning to him and tells Zayn a story about each of them, he lets him figure out how to get to their next destination or the way home. Niall teaches him a few phrases in Irish ("I'm not fluent or anything, I have friends who are but all I know is the odd useful phrase I learned in school, and a few less useful things") and starts a list of museums they could visit.

"Rank them by which ones you want to visit most," he tells Zayn. "Judging by what I know about you, you'll probably want to see the Dublin Writers Museum. And every single art museum, obviously."

"Obviously," Zayn grins. "There's a writers museum?"

"It's actually pretty interesting, even for someone like me who's not overly into literature. We can go there first, if you want."

One Saturday night, when Louis and Liam are on their date night and the rest of his flatmates are god knows where, Niall rings Zayn.

"Get ready, Malik," he says as soon as Zayn's answered. "We're going out."

"Out where?" Zayn asks and throws a panicky glance at his own reflection in the mirror. He's wearing sweatpants and his hair is starting to get greasy.

"This band I know is playing in a pub nearby and you need to see them. Can you be at mine in 30 minutes?"

"Uh..."

"Please, Zayn," Niall begs and Zayn chuckles.

"I can't tell if you really want me to see them or if _you_ want to see them and haven't like found anyone else to go with you."

"I mean I really want to see them, yeah," Niall admits, "but I haven't asked anyone else either. So can you?"

Zayn sighs exaggeratedly. "I guess I can, like, just put on a beanie."

"You're the best!" Niall calls and hangs up, leaving Zayn with a grin on his face that looks pretty stupid when he catches himself in the mirror. Zayn shakes his head at himself and goes to change his sweats for skinny jeans, puts on a beanie.

Niall's waiting downstairs in front of his and Louis' flat and greets Zayn with a hug. "You won't regret this. And you don't look nearly as bad as you could've after your reaction on the phone earlier."

"You understood that I didn't feel adequately dressed from "uh"?" Zayn asks incredulously.

"Put the pieces together," Niall shrugs cheerfully and starts to lead them down the street. "Your hesitance plus the beanie you never wear got me there. Now, what do you know about Irish music?"

"Um," Zayn makes, caught off guard by the change of topic. "Fiddlers and flutes, like?"

Niall laughs. "Contemporary music, then. Kodaline, Gavin James and them?"

"I know High Hopes by Kodaline?"

"That's a start," Niall laughs. This is one thing Zayn had to learn after their initial meeting, that Niall usually spends a big portion of the day laughing. It's oddly charming, especially since he's really clever and it shows whenever he isn't laughing. It's not the kind of annoying dumb laughter that Zayn hates.

"So what is this show you're dragging me to tonight?"

"The one you willingly accompany me to, you mean? It's an Irish band that started out busking here in Dublin and even though they play bigger shows around Ireland and the UK now they still come back to the pubs here regularly. They're called Keywest."

The pub they go to isn't very small but it's already quite crowded. "They're very popular round here," Niall explains as they squeeze between groups of people to get to the bar for a pint. "I only saw they were playing here tonight on Facebook just before I gave you a ring, would've asked the others along too if I'd known earlier."

"We'll manage without them, like," Zayn says and nudges Niall teasingly. "I haven't wanted to punch you in a while."

Niall slaps a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "You wanted to punch me?"

"Same as you wanted to punch me, reckon."

"Not initially," Niall says and throws him a quick grin. When he continues, he's facing front and Zayn isn't sure if he actually says what he hears. "Was just trying to find a way to talk to you."

"What?" Zayn asks and Niall turns back around to smile at him almost wistfully. He's ordering their beers and focusing on the bartender before Zayn gets another chance to speak, but maybe that's for the best because Zayn's mind is reeling and his heart is beating strangely fast. A busy, loud pub isn't the place to work through those cryptic words and his own reaction to them anyway, so Zayn pushes it all as far away as possible.

They're just in time and as soon as they've found a spot near the back of the pub, the band comes out already. Niall can sing along to many of the songs - Zayn doesn't know why he's surprised by how good Niall's voice is, so far he hasn't discovered a single thing except drawing Niall can't do - and keeps smiling at Zayn so blindingly bright it feels a bit like staring right into the sun. Too beautiful to look directly.

The band is good, some sort of folk-y pop rock thing that Niall is into, and Zayn nods his head along and claps, even sways once when Niall urges him on.

"What sort of music do you like, Zaynie?" Niall asks when the band take a break and Zayn very nearly smiles at the nickname. "You're not bored are you?"

"No, this is good," Zayn promises. "I'm into R'n'B usually, like. Old school rock sometimes."

"I'm the biggest Eagles fan of our generation," Niall claims and Zayn laughs. "No, I swear! Love classic rock, me."

After the break, they play a few covers in between their own songs and Zayn can sing along a few times, and when they end the show, he cheers with everyone else.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Niall says, turning to Zayn. His hair is a little sweaty and flops onto his forehead.

“It was fun, we can do this more often if you want. If I could, I’d take you to see the Eagles but unfortunately…”

“I nearly cried when I heard Glenn Frey had died.” Niall shakes his head sadly then grins at Zayn again. “But I’ve seen them live three times, so it’s okay you can’t take me.”

“That’s a relief, like,” Zayn chuckles. “I wouldn’t have been able to afford tickets anyway.”

Niall comes over the next morning, complaining loudly because Louis left him alone in a flat with no food while he stole his boyfriend’s food.

“So now you come to steal it as well,” Zayn hears Harry, who opened the door, observe while Louis yells expletives from Liam’s room.

Now that he’s awake anyway, Zayn decides he might as well get up and have breakfast with the others, so he hurries to the shower before anyone else can get the idea and dresses comfortably afterwards.

When he gets out, Niall and Harry are in the kitchen sort of preparing breakfast, sort of doing a silly dance together. Zayn watches for a minute before he clears his throat to alert them of his presence. Niall jumps and Harry turns to Zayn with a wide grin. “You’re awake, Zayn! A miracle!”

“He’s exaggerating,” Zayn tells Niall who just laughs. “You making breakfast?”

“Brunch,” Niall says. “Or, that’s the plan. Harry’s useless.”

“Heyyy,” Harry complains. “Make the eggs yourself, then. I’ll make the smoothies.”

By the time Liam and Louis trudge into the kitchen, Zayn’s set the table and the other two have taken care of most of the food so they all sit down to eat.

“I could get used to this,” Louis says between sips of his tea. “Can you make me breakfast every morning?”

“I really don’t understand why you haven’t dumped his lazy arse yet, Liam,” Niall jokes. “I bet he hasn’t made you breakfast once.”

“Well, I happen to love his arse so it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Louis smirks and blows Liam a kiss while Harry facepalms. “TMI! Sometimes I wish I’d never introduced you.”

“That was you?” Zayn wants to know. “How did you all meet in the first place?”

“Oh, it’s a story of fate,” Niall laughs and Harry shushes him.

“Listen, Zayn, it’s not every day that a couple of strangers meet and become best friends with each other – all of them, not just different combinations within the group. So don’t listen to Niall’s cynical words, it _was_ fate. Anyway, Liam and I knew each other from this apartment, actually. You know we’ve lived together since year one, yeah? It didn’t take Liam more than a few days to develop an embarrassing crush on a guy from year two he kept seeing at uni – that was Louis. Thankfully, he studied Social Work and as do I, as you know. So I managed to snag an invite to a party Louis was throwing and obviously I took Liam as my plus one. I introduced them and that was it, they only had eyes for each other. Obviously I needed someone else to talk to and I found Louis’ flatmate who didn’t know anyone else either.”

“That was me,” Niall interjects and Louis shoves him lightly.

“Everyone knows, Nialler.”

“Anyway,” Harry says loudly. “The rest is history. And now you fit in with us as well! It must be fate, don’t you think?”

Zayn’s so touched he’s considered part of their group that he does a sort of shrug/nod which gets him endless teasing from the other three, but he doesn’t mind.

Later, when Zayn mentions the show he and Niall went to the night before, the other three all look between them, interested.

"Well isn't it funny that the two of you get on so well after the start you had?" Louis says, with an emphasis that Zayn understands perfectly but wants to ignore because he knows, he knows there's always that strange feeling underneath whenever he's with Niall or thinks about him, and he doesn't know what to do with it.

Maybe he has a friend crush on Niall, one of these things where you're always amazed how much you like a friend and how well you understand each other. A crush, sort of, but an entirely platonic one. Maybe that's it.

"Anyway," Harry interrupts Zayn's train of thought, "ask me along next time, yeah? I'm having abandonment issues here. I don't wanna be the fifth wheel."

"What?" Niall asks incredulously. "Harry, you were busy. When I found out about the show you already had plans."

"I would've cancelled them!" Harry cries out and Zayn watches the two of them, alarmed.

"I didn't wanna start anything," he tells Liam and Louis, but they wave him off.

"They do this regularly," Liam assures him. "Harry likes to be overdramatic - the actor in him - and Niall indulges him. It's a real discussion, like, but nowhere near as serious as it sounds."

Relieved, Zayn nods and listens as Niall promises to tell Harry next time, no matter what his plans.

"Tell us as well," Louis orders. "We can just relocate our date night."

"Doesn't that sort of defy the purpose of your date night?" Niall frowns. "You know, because you started it so you'd spend a night alone, just you?" Louis just gives him A Look and Niall sighs. "Alright, I'll tell you too."

And if Zayn hadn't already spent a lot of time with all four of them before, he surely does after Niall's promise. Technically, he should be getting sick of them but he enjoys it endlessly when it's the five of them, be it at home, in pubs or anywhere else. There seems to be an infinite amount of bands that play small pub shows in Dublin and between Niall, Harry and Louis, someone always hears from them and makes them all go. Zayn's never been out this much before and privately, he soon starts to suspect it's because he doesn't want to miss out on seeing Niall every day.

It's his smile, probably, or the way he hugs Zayn hello each time, or his warmth when Zayn can sidle up to him on their small sofa or in a crowded pub. It's a little embarrassing, actually, and Zayn really hopes no one notices the cat tendencies he's suddenly developed when it comes to Niall. It's just that he's so _warm_ , in every sense of the word.

Despite living with Harry and Liam, Zayn spends more time with Niall than with any of the other boys, the two of them still do what Niall promised and discover Dublin together. It's working, because whenever Zayn calls his mum she tells him how happy she is that he's settled in and has found his place.

And then, early in November, Niall asks him, "When's your last class on Friday over?"

Zayn looks up from where he's trying to get through a boring text on early Irish art. "11.45, why?"

"And the start of your first one on Monday?"

"2.15 pm."

"Perfect, can you skip the Monday one if necessary?"

"Um, I guess? Niall, what's this about?"

"I want to show you more of Ireland, and since you've missed most of the internationals trips while hanging out with us I thought we could do it on our own. Would you come with?"

"Just you and me?" Zayn asks and when Niall nods he shrugs a little. "Sure, yeah. But, like, how are we gonna do it?"

"We get the train to Mullingar right after class and from there we can have my dad's car, I already asked him. I have family in Kilkenny near Cork and in Galway so we can spend a night or two each there and see the most important things during the weekend. It'll be fun, I promise. All we'll have to pay for is gas and maybe additional food but my aunts are the kind to make a mean lunch box."

"This weekend?" Zayn wants to know.

"If you're free?" Niall grins. "Better not to wait until the weather gets worse in the winter."

He doesn't have any plans yet except for the vague idea to hang out with the boys but Niall's one of them and Zayn apparently has a soft spot the size of the entire continent for him so he agrees immediately.

When they're on the train Friday afternoon, the nerves hit Zayn at the thought of meeting Niall's dad. "Oh, shut up," Niall laughs. "He'll love you. You can be very charming, you know?"

Zayn grins a little and elbows him, reminded of their first civil conversation.

Niall's dad picks them up from the station, a smiling man in his fifties, and drives them to the tiny house Niall grew up in. Niall seems a little embarrassed at first but Zayn's relieved to see they grew up under similar circumstances. The house he shared with his parents and sisters isn't much bigger, relatively. They have tea together and chat, Zayn watches the two of them together and finds he likes this version of Niall just as much. He jokes with his dad - they have the same laugh - and listens without faking his interest, calls him "da" and "Bobby" and asks questions about people they both know. Bobby asks about his classes and how his applications are coming along and then tries to include Zayn by asking about the two of them, how they met, what they do and their plans for this weekend.

They leave with his car in time to arrive in Kilkenny, where Niall's aunt, uncle and two cousins live, just before dark. The country Niall drives them through is as green as the cliches say, even in November, and they don't stop at any of the churches they pass because it won't stop raining.

"Welcome to Ireland," Niall says dryly when a herd of sheep is added to the list and Zayn laughs.

"I like it," he says honestly, then adds with a wink, "especially the enthusiastic tour."

"Fuck off," Niall laughs and proceeds to enthusiastically point out the most mundane things to Zayn.

The rest of his family are as warm as Bobby and it gets pretty loud around the dinner table when they all get together. Zayn is given one of the cousin's bed and protests because Emma has to sleep in her sisters room and Niall doesn't get a real bed either in the room they share for the night, but he doesn't have a chance against the Horans.

They visit Cork in the morning and continue their trip west and then further north again. Whenever it's dry enough to leave the car they stop to look at castles or what's left of them and in the afternoon, after a short lunch break in Doolin, they reach the famous Cliffs of Moher.

It's windy and freezing, ice cold rain drops that feel like pinpricks hitting their faces, but Zayn still thinks this might be one of the most spectacular things he's ever seen. The green everywhere, the black of the cliffs and the wild waves crashing far below them are quite the sight. They can't stay longer than for a short walk a bit too close to the edge for Zayn's liking, their teeth chattering, but afterwards they sit in the car with the heating blasting for a few minutes in silence.

"Quite impressive, huh?" Niall asks, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

"Yeah," Zayn mumbles. He's tried capturing the majestic beauty with his phone and Niall's taken a shot of him with his jacket billowing from the wind, and they drive on soon after so they reach Limerick before dark. It's almost too late though, it's getting dark as Niall parks the car. Limerick is a small town though and the walk through the city centre doesn't take them very long.

"I think there's a market here during the day," Niall says, "and the uni is quite big. Dunno what else there is though, to be honest. Alright if we head on?"

Zayn yawns. "Sure. Sorry I can't drive, by the way. You must be exhausted."

"It's alright," Niall shrugs. "I don't mind driving. Just keep me awake until we make it to Galway, yeah?"

So Zayn talks to Niall, asks questions and tells stories from home, listens when Niall does the same. He learns that Niall became Louis' flatmate because the latter was looking for a flatmate after his first one dropped out of uni. "He wasn't looking for someone younger than him, I don't think. Especially since he took a gap year and was already older than most people he studied with anyway. But we hit it off, thankfully."

"I took a gap year too, like," Zayn says. "'s why I'm in your year and how I got my tattoos, or most of them. I spent a year working with a tattoo artist."

"Really?"

"Okay, it wasn't supposed to be a gap year, I thought it's what I wanted to do. But you have a lot of time to draw in between clients, and I became interested in where the designs originated from. So, art history." He makes a little "ta-da" gesture and Niall grins.

"That's so cool, though. I can't believe you actually gave people tattoos."

"Not many, to be honest," Zayn admits. "I wasn't allowed to actually use a needle on someone until I was six months in. And it was only the simple designs at first, by the time I was allowed to do more I was already one foot out the door, like."

"Still, I could never," Niall says. "I'm bloody terrified of needles. I guess that's why I'm so into astronomy and astrophysics, you know? Always liked science but couldn't do anything with needles so that left physics. And the stars were always my thing, I remember staying up late as a kid just to watch the ISS fly by. Tiny spot of light in the sky and I was excited for days."

"So that's what you wanna do later, like?" Zayn wants to know. "Space?"

"Yeah," Niall says, and the smile on his face is genuine. "We have a nine-week-placement of practical work in year four and I really wanna spend that at Goddard Space Institute in New York. Always wanted to visit NASA and working for them - the dream."

"I'm sure you'll get in," Zayn assures him and he really means it. Niall's so smart it leaves him in awe sometimes, and his passion speaks for itself.

Niall's aunt Marie and her husband Sean live on the outskirts of Galway in a house they used to live in with their children who've moved out. When Niall and Zayn arrive it's late and she greets them with a very welcome warm dinner. Zayn's thankful Niall's doing most of the conversation because he feels close to falling asleep at the table, so he just eats and follows Marie and Niall up the stairs afterwards.

"We converted Aoife's room into a guest bedroom," Marie tells them and throws a look their way that Zayn can't find the energy to interpret. "And I'm sure you don't mind sharing, yeah?"

"That's fine, thank you very much," he says and smiles at her tiredly.

They don't talk much after she leaves them, both tired from the past two days and Zayn must've fallen asleep because when he opens his eyes it's light outside and Niall's trying to silence his alarm blindly.

"Ni," he mumbles, "think we need to get up."

Niall makes a noise that could mean anything but sits up on his side of the bed, hair sticking every which way. It's cute, and Zayn squeezes his eyes shut as his stomach does a somersault.

Marie gives the same look from the night before again when she asks them how they slept over breakfast and smiles knowingly when Zayn says, "Very well, thank you."

Niall avoids Zayn's gaze so Zayn waits until they're alone on their way into town to ask him about it. 

Niall groans quietly and Zayn watches in delight as his face turns pink. "I'd hoped you'd forget about it. It's a thing all my aunts do, being extra tolerant and all. They pride themselves on being supportive of my sexuality and it's nice they are, but I bet she thought we had a different kind of relationship."

"Oh," Zayn says, caught between embarrassment and excitement at the fact that he now has clarity on whether or not Niall goes for men. It's unsettling how excited it makes him feel.

Galway is smaller than Dublin and Cork but they still spend all morning there - Zayn sees a lot of the Irish art he's learning about in class, and the architecture he inevitably gets to hear about as well, if not from the professors then from Gigi - and have lunch in a pub before they drive out to Connemara.

The rough and wild nature of the national park fits with the image Zayn has of Ireland and the weather is better than the day before so they decide to take a longer walk. It's still windy and rather cold but they're bundled up in warm coats, scarves and hats so the weather is bearable. There aren't many other people around, though, so it feels like they're alone in the world most of the time and Zayn has a lot of time to think while they balance across huge rocks and in between them. Niall's a few steps in front of him and his bulky winter coat makes him look very broad, but Zayn thinks about the tank tops he sometimes wears at home and knows that Niall's broad enough beneath it. He's just the right mix of boyish and manly, actually, Zayn ponders and finds himself making a list of things that make Niall exactly his type. It turns out to be a pretty long list and Zayn swallows when he thinks of Niall's laugh and the way his own body reacts to him sometimes, and about how he doesn't mind Niall's aunts assumption at all.

"Shit," he mutters and Niall turns around in front of him.

"Y'alright?" he asks and before Zayn can reply, his foot slips from under him and he stumbles a little, trying to find his balance.

"Woah," Zayn makes and steps forward without thinking, reaches out to steady Niall. It leaves them holding each other's arms, bodies aligned and so close Zayn thinks he can feel Niall's warmth through their clothes. He swallows and they just stand there for a moment, looking at each other. Then Niall blinks and laughs a little. "Thank you," he says, and his face is pink again - Zayn can't tell if it's from the cold or embarrassment or...whatever else.

"Looks like you should hold my hand so you don't fall," he jokes and Niall laughs but when they start walking again, he extends his hand like it's nothing. Zayn grabs it.

Niall doesn't act any different, he talks and doesn't talk the same amount as before, but they hold hands until they're back at their car. Connemara is huge and they only see a tiny fraction of it, thousands of rocks and an old, weathered church that's apparently typical for the region. When they reach the car, neither of them seems willing to let go. They're standing close, next to the passenger door, and Niall bites his lip. It's like Zayn's eyes are fixed on it, the way Niall's lip turns white underneath his teeth and then flushes pink again. His heart pounds nervously and all he wants is to press Niall up against the car and kiss him senseless.

One corner of Niall's mouth lifts up in a crooked smile. "I think I might freeze to death," he says and shivers exaggeratedly. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Zayn nods, preparing himself to let go of Niall's hand.

And then Niall darts forward and kisses his cheek. It's over before Zayn realises what happened and he just stands there trying to process while Niall walks around the car to his side. Zayn climbs in too and tries not to stare at Niall who seems embarrassed, face red and fingers even twitchier than usually.

"I feel numb from the bloody cold, sorry I made us walk that long," he says and Zayn doesn't mention that he's feeling quite warm inside right now. Niall keeps up mindless chatter while driving and after a few minutes, Zayn's got himself under control enough to join in.

Still, they're both aware that something has changed between them and it feels like each of Zayn's senses is heightened. Every brush of Niall's body against his when they return to his aunts house leaves him tingly and wanting more. Marie insists they have a hot cup of tea in the warm kitchen while she's making dinner though, so they're not gonna get any privacy until after. Zayn's trying to make the best of it and makes polite conversation, listens as Marie and her husband Sean tell him more stories about Ireland that they deem important. Dinner takes a long time like that and afterwards, when Marie touches Niall's hand and calls out that it's still freezing, they're both ordered to take a hot shower before bed. "I'm not sending you home sick!"

The bed in the guest room is the same size it was the night before but it seems much smaller when Zayn climbs in after his shower. Niall's looking at him with sleepy eyes, his hair messy and soft looking and smiles a slow smile. Zayn smiles back, less nervous than earlier. Right now, with Niall looking at him like that right across from him on his aunts guest bed, he can't really remember what he was nervous for.

They're laying still for a few moments, looking at each other, then Zayn reaches out very slowly and touches Niall's face, his brow, his temple, then slides his fingers softly down Niall's cheek to his stubbly jaw, his chin.

Niall's eyes flutter closed but he's looking at Zayn again when his fingers reach Niall's chin.

"Hey, Zayn," he says softly, "can I kiss you?"

Zayn breathes out a "yes", and Niall's already there, cradling Zayn's face and fitting his lips against Zayn's, and Zayn sighs happily, twists a hand in the back of the shirt Niall wears to sleep and lets the other one rest over Niall's racing heart.

Zayn parts his lips a tiny bit, just enough for Niall's bottom lip to fit in between, and sucks lightly. Niall makes a sound and presses closer, lets Zayn slip one leg between his. His tongue traces Zayn's top lip and Zayn lets go of Niall's bottom one so he can open up for him. Niall slides a hand from Zayn's jaw to the back of his head and tilts Zayn's head just the right way that makes Zayn momentarily forget his name.

"Okay," Zayn says when they pull back and Niall smiles so bashfully that he just has to kiss him again once, twice, three times. Then he grins and teasingly taps Niall's chest over his heart. "You were, like, more nervous than me there, yeah?"

"Shut up," Niall whines and his ears turn red. "Have you seen your face, of course I was nervous!"

Zayn laughs and kisses the corner of Niall's mouth and then along his jaw, enjoys the rasp of Niall's stubble on his own lips and chin. Niall hums and Zayn feels the rumble of his chest, smiles against Niall's chin.

"You know," he mumbles, "you made me feel not nervous anymore. You smiled at me and it just went away."

"That's very romantic and all but I'm sorry to say your smile didn't help me at all, how can you be calm when you're about to kiss the guy you've fancied since day one?"

Zayn pulls back to find Niall full on blushing now, his face beet red.

"Day one?" he asks. "Like, that clubs and societies meeting?"

"Jesus Christ," Niall groans. "Yeah. I thought you were the prettiest boy I'd ever seen and I wanted to talk to you. Guess I should've thought before I did that, thoroughly put my foot in didn't I?"

"Pretty?" Zayn asks, grinning.

"Hot, attractive, handsome, sexy, whatever," Niall says with an eye roll. "You can have them all."

"Hmm," Zayn makes and rolls them over so he's hovering above Niall. "I'm very flattered."

"You should be," Niall whispers and raises a hand to smooth down Zayn's hair and then lingers, his calloused fingers soft on Zayn's face.

They kiss again for what could be hours before Zayn admits, "I thought you were pretty too, from the beginning on. And once I realised you weren't the arse I thought you were it really didn't take me long to start fancying you."

"You fancy me?" Niall sounds delighted.

"Does that surprise you?" Zayn snorts. "I've just been kissing you for ages, like."

"It's just a nice thing to hear," Niall grins and Zayn laughs.

"I really, really fancy you, Niall Horan," he tells him and Niall's eyes crinkle with his smile.

"I really fancy you too, Zayn Malik."

It definitely is a nice thing to hear.

They're both sleepy the next morning and the hickey just under Niall's collar isn't all that well hidden so it isn't a surprise that Niall's aunt keeps giving them knowing looks. It's still awkward, and even more so because Zayn can't stop wanting to touch Niall all the time. He hasn't gotten to yet this morning, they've gone right down for breakfast and if it weren't for the hickey, Zayn might think it was just a particularly vivid dream.

But then Niall pushes his socked feet between Zayn's under the table and smiles, and Zayn knows it's real.

They go upstairs to grab their things and get going, but as soon as they're on their own, Niall grabs Zayn by his jumper and hauls him in for a kiss. Zayn can't help but smile against his lips as he stumbles a little and holds on to Niall for balance.

"I don't," Niall says a little breathlessly. "I don't want us to keep secrets. I just don't really want my aunt to be the first one I tell about us, especially since she's assuming already anyway. Is that okay?"

Zayn pecks his lips. "Absolutely. Don't think I could keep it a secret if I tried, like. I wanna touch you all the time now that I can, to be honest."

The smile Niall gives him manages to be both brilliant and bashful and he wraps his arms further around Zayn, pulling him even closer. They're the same size but Niall still rests his head on Zayn's shoulder and Zayn smiles, holds Niall around the waist and cards the fingers of his other hand through his hair. Niall hums a little and rests his lips against Zayn's neck, happy to stand like this for a few minutes.

"Hey," Niall says after a while, "did you know that I thought you and Gigi were dating back before we started over? I think part of me couldn't overlook that so I got angry quicker than I would've in a different situation."

"Well, I thought you were a womaniser and the fact that I was attracted to you even though I thought you were annoying made me more, like, sensitive than usual?" Zayn tries to explain. "Everything you did drove me mad."

Niall kisses him again, tantalisingly slow and deep, makes his way down Zayn's neck to his collar where he places a light bite. "I'll do my best to drive you mad now too," he grins and Zayn groans.

"You're doing it already," he complains, more than unwilling to let go of Niall. "But shouldn't we get going? I'm gonna miss my class no matter how fast you drive, but you could make it to yours."

Later, in the car, Niall wants to know how Zayn liked the weekend.

"Like, apart from certain developments I hope you like a lot...do you feel like you know Ireland a little better now? A little less like you're missing out?"

Zayn looks over to find Niall already watching him and smiles. "Yeah," he says, reaching for Niall's hand. "I even think it's getting, like, more and more difficult for me to get lost in Dublin."

"Wait until I show you all the museums this winter, or the castles and parks in spring," Niall grins. "I'll make you get on a rowing boat with me and we'll play footie in the park with the boys, and croquet,..."

"Woah," Zayn says with an incredulous laugh. "You're lucky you're pretty enough so I'll watch you do those things, but I won't join you."

"We'll see." Niall squeezes Zayn's hand and grins, ignoring Zayn shaking his head.

"Maybe footie once or twice," he offers, "but..."

"Shut up, Zayn," Niall says good-naturedly and blows him a kiss. "We'll see what I can convince you to have fun with."

Zayn pinches his arm lightly and then presses an apologetic kiss to it. "Alright, we'll see."

Secretly, the thought of being with Niall next spring and summer makes him more than willing to do whatever makes Niall happy.

The drive back to Mullingar feels much shorter than it is, with the way Zayn gets to hold Niall's hand whenever the roads allow and how they manage to switch between conversation and comfortable silence so easily. Niall parks in front of his dad's house and turns to Zayn before they get out.

"Would telling me dad be okay?"

"Sure," Zayn shrugs even though his heart has been racing since the possibility occurred to him a few miles ago. He'll have to meet Bobby Horan as his boyfriend's father.

Niall grins and reaches out to touch his face softly. "Stop worrying, you've already met him!"

"Not like this," Zayn whines and Niall laughs.

He's still laughing when he leans in to kiss Zayn and Zayn is sure he can taste it when he licks into Niall's mouth.

It takes them a few minutes to leave the car and Zayn's still smoothing down his hair when Bobby opens the door with a smirk. "Don't think I didn't see you arrive ten minutes ago," he says instead of a greeting and Zayn freezes, sees Niall blush bright red from the corner of his eye.

Then Bobby laughs and claps a hand on Zayn's shoulder. "Don't worry, son, as long as you treat him right I don't bite."

Zayn chuckles a little nervously. "Of course, sir."

"It's Bobby, Zayn."

"Dad," Niall groans. "Please can we move on, I'm trying to forget you saw us."

"I used the extra time to pack your lunch for you and get ready so we can leave, that alright? Didn't want you to miss your train."

When Zayn and Niall get back to Zayn's dorm, Harry has cut his hair. "I've donated my hair," he tells them proudly and turns in a circle to show off his short hair. "Cut it all off at once."

"It suits you," Zayn compliments him and it's true, Harry could pull off long hair and he pulls off this haircut as well.

"Thank you, Zayn," Harry says, phone in his hand. "I'll have to FaceTime my mum."

"I had long hair one year too," Zayn says to Niall. "Two years ago, I think."

"Christ," Niall sounds delighted, "are there pictures? I bet you looked like Aladdin."

Zayn laughs. "Like, that's what everyone told me."

Niall raises a hand to touch Zayn's hair. "A buzzcut, green hair, blond hair, long hair...and those are only the ones you've told me about."

"I had a blond quiff for a while," Zayn grins. "Did it myself, nicked some of my girlfriends peroxide to do it."

Niall raises an eyebrow. "You gonna match with me, too?"

Zayn raises an eyebrow back. "Don't think I need to, do I? You know I'm yours anyway."

Harry walks in on them some time after Niall's backed Zayn up against the kitchen counter to kiss him more thoroughly, hands all over each other.

"Woah," he says and the two of them spring apart. "I feel like something happened this weekend."

"Uh...," Zayn makes and Niall rubs the back of his neck.

"Surprise?"

"Oh well, I always thought I'd get the official title of fifth wheel at some point," Harry shrugs but then he smiles and opens his arms wide to hug them both. "Congrats, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Harry," Zayn says with a smile and a pat on his back before Harry pulls back and looks at them sternly.

"Same rules as for Liam and Louis apply for you, no sex in the living room or kitchen and stay clear of my room. Or any room but Zayn's."

Zayn hides his face behind his hands while Niall complains loudly, calling Harry an embarrassing mum.

"We all know Harold's mother hen tendencies," Louis' voice suddenly overpowers the noise and Zayn lowers his hands to see him and Liam enter the apartment. "What's this about?"

"I'm just explaining the rules to those two," Harry says. "Now that they're officially a couple."

There's a silence in which Zayn tries not to feel too excited over the fact that he and Niall are a couple, and then Liam asks, "What?"

Louis groans. "I should've started a bet."

"Mates," Liam says, his eyes crinkling. "We can double date!"

Tuesdays, Zayn has one of the two classes he shares with Gigi and she reacts delighted when he tells her about Niall.

"Are you revoking what you told me about long distance relationships at the beginning of this year?" she asks him a little later.

Zayn has to think about that for a while, realising he's never even taken that into consideration with Niall. "I'd do it for him," he says eventually. "Like, if we last longer than this school year, I'll do it. I want us to last, you know? I really, really like him, Gi."

"I can tell," she smiles. "I'm glad you've found someone worth the work."

For a few moments, Zayn is quiet. He's thinking of Niall and how all he ever wants to do is make him smile, and how he misses him every time he's not next to him. "How long...like, how long did it take for you to fall in love with your girlfriend?"

"Not long at all. Probably not as long as the months you've known Niall for, if that's what you're asking."

Yeah, Zayn thinks, that's what he's asking. Because he's pretty sure he's in love with Niall.

 


End file.
